Finding My Muladhara
If you would like to try the exercise I used, to find your own Muladhara… Please see “My Muladhara Meditation”
Next week will be the Five Year Anniversary of the opening of “The Coaching Corner” Fitness Studio on January 28, 2007. (Now, AKA “Pro Fitness at Sunset.”) What a ride it has been so far! How much I have learned! How much I have yet to be taught!
I digress, this blog is not about the Fitness Studio…yet I suppose it is…indirectly. I guess a little latitude is needed here, if you will stay with me.
I am pretty sure I remember some Small Business statistic about actualization superseding fifty percent after five years. This is still no guarantee, of course, but by year five, the probability of sustained success begins to outweigh that of failure. I don’t know what comes next, but I will say this: Collectively—including all other aspects of life that must go on while starting, running and growing a business—these past five years have been the most challenging of my life, to date. Notice I chose the word “challenging,” not difficult.
Yet here I am, still and ONLY, by the Grace of Universal Spirit.
About midway through Year One (2007), I suffered through an emotionally traumatic experience that literally shattered my perspective of what I thought was “Mandy’s Life”.
*Year Two (2008), I crashed my brand new, five day old, 2008 Honda Shadow VT750C Aero (Candy Dark Red/White). The accident severed my ACL, tore my MCL, and the Medial & Lateral Menisci.
*The end of Year Three (2009), truly threatened to be the last. Every fiscal year inclusive had ended in a net loss, and that’s not even pretending to recoup one cent of original start-up capital. For the past 36 months, additional investment funds, covering the gap in losses through the end of the third year, had run out. The proverbial fork in the road was before me.
Only when a difficult situation presents itself,
are we presented with an equal opportunity to make it work.
Otherwise, we generally tend to ride the wave. Nice and easy. Fun. Thrilling, even.
Yet, I have never seen a wave that doesn’t eventually crash against the shore,
only and always to recede and rise again.
All the will in the world could not hold back the coming of the Year Four (2010). Standing at the fork, the view down both paths—as far as my eyes could see—was arrant. I faced two axiological choices:
1. Start generating a net profit ‘tout de suite.’
2. Throw in the towel (literally), pack it up and go home.
Take your pick of justifications I could have made or blames I might have lain:
-great learning experience
-poor location choice
-knee injury complications and a second surgery
-too much competition
-plan old burn out
-sick & tired of being sick & tired
-waaaaah, it’s sooooo hard
-blah, blah, blah…
I really hate to give up. I have major issues with being told that I can’t, and I rarely take “No,” for an answer. On the flip side these character traits of mine have also been known to manifest obsessively as serious faults: egotism, pride, stubbornness and stupidity; just to name a few. Still, once I get a belief in my head that the possibility of a solution exists, I literally cannot stop until I find it. I don’t need to tell you which path I chose. (See Footnote: 1.)
By the end of the fourth year, Pro Fitness had grown into a conglomerate of allied forces totaling six locations in Miami.
They say, “Be careful what you ask for…”
Enter Year Five (2011).
Paraphrasing from some other recent writings…
I was in a grand whirlwind of new & exciting possibilities.
I had arrived.
I was hanging with the big dogs, now.
Sure a lot of money was invested, but success was feeding my motivation.
I had the knowledge, skill and desire to make it work.
Do you want to know what really happened? (See Footnote: 2.)
I got in way over my head, crashed, and burned.
The ultimate cost of it all?
It was not the loss of
a little easy-come-easy-go capital
invested here and there.
It was the incalculably forsaken value of My Soul.
Finding My Muladhara?
I guess I did, because nothing that I wrote above is anything near to what I thought my intensions were when I sat down to write this blog in the first place. What I put down in virtual print here today is just the tip of my ice berg. A whole entanglement of branches are sprouting from my Muladhara “tree” through this process. (I’ve made a few private notes, for potential exploration in the near future.) The visual metaphor of things previously hidden/buried/rooted—in my unconscious thoughts—now reaching out and growing toward the light so that the flowers and fruits of my Muladhara may bloom, is evoking some hippie-trippie feelings right now. So, I guess I am tapped out for tonight.
(1) As I recall these events, I am enthralled by the phenomena of the tremendous power of Manifestation Through Vocalization. This was not my time first testing out what I now call Putting It Into The Universe. My exact words to my Partner were, “Well, as of January 1st, I guess the Fitness Studio will just have to start paying for itself. Simple, as that.” Suffice it to say that not only did the Fitness Studio begin generating enough money to cover operating expenses, there was always enough leftover to cover the mortgage, the car the utilities, etc. and then some.
(2) Maybe it had to do with turning 40. Maybe it had to do with working 16 hours days & sleeping an average of 4-5 hours each night. (I have the BODYMEDIA Fit-DATA to prove it.) Maybe it had to do to with not exercising…AT ALL…for weeks at a time…all twisted up with the guilt & shame of the hypocrisy of not living by the very foundation of everything I claim to believe in.). Maybe it had to do with not eating (AT ALL) most of the days and picking up a box of Oreo’s for dinner on the way home. Maybe it was just that first act of not acting in-line with my Principles, that began the slippery slope.
1. Every morning & night, for the last few months, I passed by my motorcycle at the front door heavy of heart. The South Florida weather had turned, and it was prime time for riding. My bike needed a full tune up & carburetor cleaning before it could be taken to the road safely. Within the last week, I asked each of two fellow riders for a referrals to their respective mechanics, carefully placing these phone numbers in my ‘Contacts’ file.
2. My knee has been acting up a bit these past couple of weeks. Despite the fact that this is largely do to my recent return to a (somewhat more) regular exercise regimen… It was also time for a new pair of sneakers. Much like tires on a car that needs a good alignment, my sneakers require regular rotating & balancing. The wear and tear I generate on the treads has always been slightly asymmetric. Not a big deal. However, in the years since my knee “destruction” & two surgical reconstructions (on top of wearing sneakers 12-14 hours a day, on at least 5 days each week), this wear pattern has regressed to being highly asymmetric. Shopping for new shoes was on my To Do list, but I just hadn’t made the time, nor the immediate cash, available to get it done.
3. Less than a month ago, I applied to take my PhD Qualifying Exams, just two days before the application deadline. I was scheduled to being the three-day exam today. I was totally unprepared.
In the last 24 hours…
1. A business colleague picked up my motorcycle, spent the whole day fixing it. It’s running great & ready to ride! No charge!
2. This morning at 5:30am my client brought me a brand new pair of ASICS Kayano. My favorite brand and model! She picked out some activewear in my Fitness Studio Boutique, and we both won!
3. Sometime after sundown yesterday, my advisor sent me an email informing me that I could not take the PhD Qualifying Exams because…get ready for this one…THE EXAM QUESTIONS HAVEN’T BEEN WRITTEN YET!
Dear Great Spirit of The Universe,
Omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent are you.
Only do I supplicate myself to You each morning,
and I am unified with and infused by your love & grace.
I praise you.
I honor your glory.
I ask that you allow me to be Your instrument
of usefulness to my fellows.
I ask for courage.
I ask for the awareness to practice “The Golden Rule.”
I ask for blessings for my friends & family.
I ask for the stillness to listen to my Higher-Self, that is You.
I thank you for a new day, each with another opportunity
to love, learn, change (when necessary) and grow.
I ask for health, vitality and longevity, as I learn how to live.
I thank you for all the tangible toys you have given me to play with in this realm.
I ask for continued & limitless abundance & prosperity, in all things.
Only do I return to You each night, in gratitude that
You have granted me all the things I have asked for,
and infinitely more than I ever could.
I am unified with and infused with by your love & grace.
Great One of 10,000 Names, I love You.
Great One of 10,000 Names, I thank You.
Nutjert Sat Aset